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I went fishing this yesterday, but after a short time I ran out of bait. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. A "cottonmouth" is one of the 4 poisonous snakes in North America, and generally the meanest, being more aggressive than rattlesnakes. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing...

A Mexican, an Arab, and an Arizona girl are in the same bar. When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our...

A palindrome reads the same backwards as forward. This video reads the exact opposite backwards as forward. Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite.. This is only a 1 minute, 44 second video and it is brilliant. Make sure you read as well as listen...forward and...

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and...

Let Me Tell You About MJ's Weekend ......... An older, white-haired man named MJ walked into a jiwelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. MJ told the jiweler he was looking for a special ring for his new girlfriend. The jiweler looked through his stock...

Okay guys I have the opportunity to get this Club Cadet for free. I know nothing about these things or it. Looks in good shape. Belt that turns blades keeps popping off. Don't know what it will cost me to get it cutting, but it starts right up. No grass catcher. Do they make them for this age...

Azzholes always learning new tricks, pass this on to your wives/girlfriends, relatives and friends. > Rapist's New Trick -- Please take 3 minutes and read this ... then > pass it on > > > Know what money you are carrying... You will see why as you read. > > Be sure every woman...

A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, 'I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin.' The husband replies, 'That's no big thing in this day and age.' The wife continues, 'Yeah, I've been with one guy..' 'Oh...

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says...

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.' The next day the 85-year-old...

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, "Dooo youuuu...

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions. The husband turned to his wife and said, Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me both happy and sad at the same time. She...

The soldier and the nun Size: 5 KB A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, 'Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later.' The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?' The nun replied, 'He went that...

I found it funny too,lol. John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the...

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. "What are you doing?!" she asked. "I'm...

We are all headed there if we are not there already......Put your glasses on and read Upon reaching 65, B ob decided to retire. After having him under foot for a few months, his wife became very agitated with him. She suggested he go and do something to occupy his time, like join a club or...

I never get tied up in TV and never watch any type of award shows. My friend sent me this and I am glad he did. Should bring a tear to your eye. Turn up your volume. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0mm4u2VzDs God Bless Our Troops

A cop stops a man on a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, and he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out...

I'm passing this on as I did not want to be the only old fart receiving it. Actually, it's not a bad thing to be called, as you will see. Old Farts are easy to spot at sporting events; during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner, Old Farts remove their caps and stand at attention and sing...

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day in his new Washington DC parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of air and to see the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly...