And while we are on poetry - bad day at hallmark

[CaptJ]

Bad day at Hallmark

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day........

​

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me. ​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'
​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
​

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.
​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
​

How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?
​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
​

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.
​

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------
​

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.. I never believed in Hell until I met you.
​

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
​

As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am....

That you're not here to ruin it for me.
​

####################################################
​

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.
​

********************************************************************************
​

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
​

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!
​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
​

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise...
​

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
​

We have been friends for a very long time .

let's say we stop?
​

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
​

I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.
​

=====================================================
​

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?
​

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
​

Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.
​

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
​

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay​

 

[Destroyer]

ROFLMAO!!!