my father died this morning.

charlie_the_tuna

charlie_the_tuna

God
holy sh!t. i never thought i would see this phrase come from me. it's still very surreal to me as i never really accepted the fact that we would ever really lose him. he was always the bada$$ of fathers. he was a champion bodybuilder in his youth and he was always big and muscular and the strength of my family. he had bypass surgery, i guess around 10 or so years ago and he was just never the same after. he was still his ornery, cranky stubborn self, but physically he just slowly went downhill. last couple years he would just sit around and sleep all day and refused to go to his doctors appointments and his physical therapy. he eventually started using a walker and his eyesight had been getting progressively worse. i guess he just gave up and stopped fighting.
my parents are snowbirds and he had been breaking my balls last few years to come down to florida to visit when they were down there. as we hadnt been on a vacation in years we finally gave in, and even though we couldnt afford it he wanted to spend time with my boys down there. i spoke to him a couple days ago because he was giving my mom a hard time about doctors and therapy. i told him to stop breaking everybodys balls and listen to the doctors. she didnt let on that he was this bad. she led me to believe that this was just another hospital visit.
i'm still in shock and i dont know what to do. i cant believe my father is gone. how do you recover from something like this? how does life ever seem normal again?
 
Godspeed to him and prayers sent to you and your family. Never easy. "Time heals all" is not very comforting. The hurt does fade in time. I lost my dad at 6 yrs old. I knew he was sick and gone but I never mourned the loss until I was old enough to understand. Hang in there.
 
Wow. I'm very sorry for your loss there Bud. I remember some pictures you posted of you and your Dad fishing with the kids. You could just tell from the pics that he was a proud Dad and Grandpa.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
 
Sorry to hear that CTT, I lost my father 9 years ago now and your right it just isn't the same afterwards. It sounds like he is in a better place now as no man that lived his life like you described wants to see them selves go downhill like that. You just have to remmeber him as he was and all of those times from the past.
 
Sorry to hear that.
Hang in there, you've got a lot fixing to be placed on your shoulders if you're their oldest or even if you're not.
You don't recover, life's gonna be different, you deal with it, that's as close as it gets.
Family takes care of family.
How about that picture of y'all in the boat?
 
Oh man, I am VERY sorry. It must really suck to have it a "surprise". Both my parents died in the last few years, but it was a few months of shaky hospital time for each. But then that emotional freakin roller coaster ride sucked too.

Sorry, but it took me a long time to accept it, nor really sure if I am over it. I still miss mine more than I would have ever thought.

What you need to do now is take care of your mom.

my sincere sympathy to you and your family.

rkc
 
Sorry to hear the news Charlie....like the guys are saying its something you will be aware of the rest of your life... You'll get back into your routine soon enough and go about raising your family but there will always be days were you think about it and say man this sucks.
 
CTT...My deepest condolances to you and your family. Lost my dad on Jan 1, 2000, and it still hurts. Wish there was somehthing I could say to ease the pain. :sad: My prayers are with you and with him.
 
Charlie,I'm sorry to hear about your loss.prayers to you and your family.
Although you do not know me I will tell you that you will recover and your life will most certainly go on.Time is the only thing in this world that heals the hurt you're feeling right now.the hurt will definately go away in time and what will replace the hurt will be your memories of your Father.surround yourself with your family and close friends for support and you'll find comfort with them.
In 1986,in a 2 month time period,I lost both of my parents and it was the absolute hardest thing I had ever dealt with.no words could ever describe just how badly it hurt because they were amazing people. but the same words of advice that i have given to you were given to me back then by an elderly family friend and every word he spoke to me ended up being very true,the hurt doesn't last.
 
Like Ridge, I lost my dad early too...only 4 when he died so I really don't have any memories....so you got it all over me...spend time remembering his life and the things he did FOR you and the things he did WITH you...be glad you had the time w/him you did and like RKC said, help your mom thru this..she was with him longer than you, knew him from a whole different perspective...mourn him...miss him...but dwell on the good times and the things you learned by being his son...

Best to you and your family...
 
i guess we're all getting to that age, lost my dad 16 months ago and my mom 2 & 1/2 years ago. like stated above, take care of your mom. my dad was in relatively good health, he just lost his drive after mom went. she'll say she's fine, but keep her busy and in the loop. i think about my parents every day, woulda , coulda , shoulda, etc.

once again, sorry for your loss.
 
Sorry to hear!! I have no words of wisdom here as I have both mom and dad, but they getting old, mom 73 dad soon to be 75.

As you know my mom is on the way this year if the Doc is right and I am already falling apart watching her going thur the crap!

prayers sent!!
 
My condolences my friend.
I lost mine when I was 17, you do not ever get over it. I find I think about him still at age 57 just about every day in some small way.
You learn to cherish memories.
Be as good of a man as he was for your kids.
But you will think of him.
In the end that is not a bad thing.
 
I'm sorry to hear this bud ... but I know exactly how you feel ... I still cry when I'm alone it makes me feel better.... my dad passed dec 10th and I don't think any of us get over the loss of anyone passing.

Hang in there for your wife and kids and especially your mom.
 
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